In this week’s newsletter

It’s that time of year again—when the festive season promises magic and joy but somehow delivers a packed calendar, endless to-do lists, and the constant feeling that you’re failing at all the things. For working mums, Christmas can feel less like a celebration and more like a full-time job on top of…well, your actual full-time job.

But here’s the good news: with a bit of planning, a lot of boundaries, and a willingness to embrace imperfection, you can get through Christmas without losing your mind—or your sense of humour. Let’s talk about how- read on!

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Catch up: ‘tis the season 🎄(for noro 😷)

But first time for a catch up. We are currently in the middle of Storm Darragh in the West Country, where last night’s government alert text about risk to life LITERALLY made me jump out of my skin! So far the damage has simply been that our black bin has been blown over. I hope that everyone else is safe and that any damage to property has been as limited as ours.

I also had my yearly NHS appraisal on Friday, which was slightly complicated by the fact that I am solo parenting this week, and that at 1.30am in the morning I was on my hands and knees cleaning up vomit after my youngest child came down with likely norovirus. My request to move the appraisal was declined (not my appraiser’s fault, they are booked weeks in advance as the scheduling is tight), which made the 3 hour meeting with a sick child less than ideal. Shout out to all the mums that are juggling work and poorly kids during this season, honestly you are the GOAT.

This week’s newsletter is written to help you achieve a bit of calm and solace over this very busy and chaotic season.

Becoming a Phoenix, part 5

Managing Christmas without losing yourself

First, let’s acknowledge the obvious: Christmas is hard on working mums because society somehow decided we should handle the shopping, decorating, cooking, entertaining, and still hit our work deadlines. The emotional labour of making everything “magical” is often ours to carry, and it’s exhausting (don’t get me started on that stupid elf).

But instead of trying to do it all, let’s focus on what actually matters and how to navigate the chaos with your sanity intact.

Stressors that hit working mums hardest during Christmas

• Unrealistic expectations: Pinterest-perfect holidays aren’t real, but the pressure to create them can feel overwhelming.

• Never-ending to-do lists: Gift shopping, meal planning, card writing, school nativity plays…the list goes on.

• Financial strain: The cost of Christmas adds up fast, creating a double whammy of stress and guilt.

• Work-life balance: Juggling end-of-year deadlines and festive prep is a recipe for burnout.

• Family dynamics: Let’s just say not every gathering feels like a Hallmark movie.

Sound familiar? Now, let’s talk about how to manage it all without losing yourself in the process.

7 brutally realistic ways to better manage Christmas stress as a working mum

1. Prioritise what actually matters

Take a moment to think about what’s truly important to you and your family this season. Is it spending time together? Giving thoughtful (not extravagant) gifts? Cut anything that doesn’t align with those priorities—yes, even if that means skipping the perfectly styled Christmas card photo shoot.

2. Embrace the power of "good enough"

The tree doesn’t need to look like it came out of a magazine. Dinner doesn’t have to be entirely homemade. Normalise buying presents for the kids second hand- Vinted or charity shops are great places to buy gifts. Aim for memories, not perfection.

3. Delegate like a boss

You don’t have to do everything. Ask your partner to handle gift wrapping, assign the kids small tasks like setting the table, or suggest a potluck for Christmas dinner. Outsourcing isn’t cheating; it’s survival.

4. Set boundaries with work (and family)

If work deadlines are creeping into your holiday time, set clear boundaries:

• Block off non-negotiable time in your calendar for family or self-care.

• Politely decline extra work projects or festive volunteer roles you don’t have capacity for.

• With family, practice saying “no” to events or traditions that feel more stressful than joyful. A simple, “I can’t make it this year, but let’s catch up soon” works wonders.

5. Budget smarter, not bigger

Financial stress doesn’t belong in your Christmas stocking. Agree on a gift budget, and stick to it—even if that means fewer or simpler presents. Remember: kids remember the memories, not the price tags (even if you have an increasingly expensive tween like me!). Vinted is your best friend here.

6. Schedule downtime

This is not optional. Carve out time for yourself, whether it’s an hour with a good book, a walk, or simply locking the bathroom door and pretending you’re in a spa. Burnout doesn’t take holidays, so guard your recharge time fiercely.

7. Prepare for family dynamics

Christmas often means navigating tricky family relationships. If you’re anticipating tension, go in with a game plan:

• Limit how long you’ll stay.

• Have a “signal” with your partner if you need a quick exit.

• Practice responses to nosy or critical comments (“Thanks for sharing your opinion, Aunt Carol!”, or come up with a suitable deflection statement or conversation changer).

Avoid poor coping traps

When stress levels rise, it’s tempting to lean on quick fixes like an extra glass of wine, late-night binge eating, or scrolling social media for hours. While they may feel like relief in the moment, they often leave you feeling worse in the long run.

Here are some healthier ways to cope:

• Choose movement over mindlessness: A quick walk, a stretch, or even a kitchen dance session can boost your mood and help you process stress.

• Set a mindful drink limit: If you’re drinking, pace yourself with water in between. Alcohol may dull the stress temporarily, but it can intensify anxiety later.

• Ditch “doom scrolling”: Swap social media for something grounding—like journaling, calling a friend, reading a book, or just sitting quietly with a cup of tea.

• Make a preemptive self-care plan: Have a go-to list of stress-busting activities (a bath, a favourite podcast, a quick nap) so you’re ready when overwhelm hits.

Remember, coping doesn’t have to be perfect; it just needs to be kind to yourself. The best Christmas memories aren’t about perfection—they’re about connection, laughter, and finding joy in the little moments. Give yourself permission to let go of the rest.

If you’re feeling overwhelmed, remember this: you’re doing the best you can, and that’s more than enough.

What’s your biggest Christmas stressor? Hit reply and let me know—I’d love to hear from you.

Have a wonderful week,

Claire

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