10 pieces of careers advice that working mums should never take

The Phoenix, part 2

Author

Claire Ashley
November 27, 2024

Thank you all for such a kind reception to last week’s email, which signalled a new direction for this newsletter.  I’d like to take a moment to say thank you to those of you that responded to it.  The fact that you took time out of your busy schedule to have a chat with me means everything! 

 

This week has been a funny one.  I started it with a huge to-do list and a positive mindset, only for it to be completely derailed by an infection.  I’m on antibiotics and am being appropriately treated, but I’m still hugely fatigued.  My work has therefore had to take a bit of a back seat this week.  As a self employed type A that is constantly on the go, this is a challenging thing to accept!  The old Claire would have pushed on through, berating herself for not being more productive.  But- my burnout has taught me a very valuable lesson in listening to my body and respecting when I need to go a bit slower.  Luckily, my kids are a bit older, less boisterous and less likely to harm themselves when not being supervised and this has also helped a lot.

 

The lesson here?  You can’t do everything when your capacity is reduced (for whatever reason- be it illness, mental health problems, stress, bereavement, relationship difficulties, kids, etc).  Embrace going slower when you need to.

Becoming a Phoenix, Part 2 

Career advice working mums should never take

Today’s newsletter focuses on the career advice that working mums should never take.  Most career advice out there comes from a good place, but let’s face it—being a working mum is a whole different ball game. The idea of "having it all" is tempting, but for many of us, it often ends in burnout. 

For mums, career advice as we know it can feel outdated. Things like networking, growing our careers, and balancing work and life seem made for someone with endless time and no little people to look after. So here’s a breakdown of ten pieces of classic career advice you should absolutely ignore, plus what to do instead.

Warning: There’s some real talk here!

  1. “JUST WORK HARDER”
    Hustling harder just means more stress. Instead, prioritise key tasks with high impact, and get comfortable saying "no."  Use my mum version of the Eisenhower matrix (the Meisenhower matrix?!  Sorry for the terrible pun!) will help you to help you work out what to prioritise.  

  2. “BE AVAILABLE 24/7”
    You’re already on call 24/7 for your family—no need to be for work too. Set clear work hours and communicate them firmly. Both your family and employer will adapt.

  3. “NETWORK, NETWORK, NETWORK”
    Traditional networking events? No thanks. Try LinkedIn or relevant groups where you can connect from home, even if it’s while your kids watch cartoons (screen time is fine!).

  4. “SAY YES TO EVERYTHING”
    Saying “yes” to everything is a fast track to overwhelm. Embrace your inner toddler and say “no” to opportunities that don’t excite you or align with your goals.

  5. “JUST BE MORE PRODUCTIVE”
    Productivity isn’t about doing more; it’s about doing the right things. Pick three key tasks each day, and let the rest go (yes, the laundry can wait).

  6. “CLIMB THE CORPORATE LADDER”
    Ladders require two hands—and yours are busy holding a baby and a cold cup of tea whilst you answer your emails. Instead, think of your career as a flexible lattice, with room to move sideways or take breaks when needed.

  7. “STAY LATE TO SHOW COMMITMENT”
    When nursery closing time is non-negotiable, staying late isn’t an option. Show your value through impact, not hours (if your employer can’t respect this, it might be time to explore new options).

  8. “ALWAYS AIM FOR A PROMOTION”
    Promotions often come with more responsibility, hours, and stress. Define success on your terms; maybe it’s flexibility over climbing the ladder.

  9. “PUT YOUR PERSONAL LIFE SECOND”
    Forget separating personal and work life; they’re intertwined. Balance is a moving target, so some days work wins, other days it’s family—and that’s OK.

  10. “NEVER TAKE A BREAK IN YOUR CAREER”
    Life happens. Whether it’s maternity leave, caregiving, or mental health, taking a break can bring clarity and purpose. Many women return stronger and more focused.

Traditional career advice rarely considers the full load working mums carry, but that doesn’t mean you’re not doing an amazing job. Rewrite the rules to suit you, and you’ll find your own version of success- and maybe a bit of peace.

Have a wonderful week,

Claire